Episode 15: Ferdinand the Flesh-Eater

Pretty Princess Man and Bonnie the Blue Bumblebee

Episode 15: Ferdinand the Flesh-Eater

In the land of Gorgeous, there existed one man and his sidekick in order to ward off the forces of evil and ugly. That man was Pretty Princess Man, and his sidekick was Bonnie the Blue Bumblebee. Together this unstoppable force fights with power and precision and has no mercy for the forces that stand in their way.

* * *

“To the South, to the South, oh, to the South,” sang Killer Kangaroo as she hopped merrily towards the South.

“Where do you think we’ll end up?” Pretty Princess Man asked Powerful Penguin.

“Probably at a shrine,” answered Powerful Penguin. “There’s like five of them scattered around this forsaken land. We’re bound to end up at one.”

“Good,” replied Pretty Princess Man.

“You know I feel safer with you guys around,” Frolicking Fawn said complementing The Truculent Trio.

“That’s usually the response we get,” Powerful Penguin said with indifference.

The six along with The Truculent Trio plodded along toward the South. Conversation continued but only about trivial matters. The sun eventually set, leaving Ugly all the more ugly. The group pressed on knowing time was of the essence and finally when they could walk no longer a building was spotted.

“Look!” cried out Kindhearted Kitty.

“Ah, a shrine,” observed Powerful Penguin. “He Killer Kangaroo haven’t we been here before?”

“Why I’d imagine so,” Killer Kangaroo responded.

“Well what are we waiting for?” asked Glittering Grizzly. “Let’s go.”

The group made their way towards the building. When they reached the entryway they paused for something did not seem right. Pretty Princess Man would not be slowed and thrust open the doors.

A gust of evil seemed to be expelled out from within the shrine as the doors fl open. A chill went down the spines of all the Gorgeousians. An unseen force seemed to be luring them in, but all the while their senses screamed at them, telling them to turn and flee. A sinister snicker bellowed out from within the chamber.

Reluctantly, the Gorgeousians entered the shrine. “Welcome,” said the voice belonging to the laugh. “I have been expecting some visitors.”

“Who are you?” asked Little Pumpkin.

“Ferdinand the Flesh-Eater,” he responded.

“Ferdinand!” exclaimed The Truculent Trio.

+ + +

The day in Ugly was a cold one. Ugly was never a good temperature, it was either always too hot or always to cold. Today happened to be one of those cold days.

Not that the temperature really mattered to The Truculent Trio. They had been assigned an important mission for today. They were to kill Ferdinand. Ferdinand was the head of police department of Ugly, if it could be called a police department. This “police” department went around Ugly and beat those who looked out of place until they were on the verge of death. Such a victim had contacted The Truculent Trio wanting his vengeance.

The Truculent Trio was traveling fast, for the cold made them quicken their pace as it helped them to keep warm. They were going to the Flesh Shrine, the place where Ferdinand liked to worship. He felt that this scripture really applied to his life and that he was doing a splendid job fulfilling it. He was just fulfilling it for the moment, because The Truculent Trio had every intention of ending his horrific policing job.

The Truculent Trio burst into the Flesh Shrine. “Alpha Formation!” commanded Powerful Penguin. Killer Kangaroo lined up to the right of Powerful Penguin, and Deadly Dolphin took her place to the penguin’s left. “Strike!”

Deadly Dolphin swam up in the air and ascended above the evil police chief. Killer Kangaroo hopped and landed on top of Ferdinand. Powerful Penguin slid on her stomach straight towards him. Her beak pierced his heart and he clutched it falling to the ground. Deadly Dolphin brought her tail down upon the face of Ferdinand and tore it completely off. Killer Kangaroo began to hop up and down on Ferdinand causing his skin to tear and blood to spew all over the ground.

“Good work team,” Powerful Penguin said as The Truculent Trio turned and left the Flesh Shrine returning to their client to collect the reward.

+ + +

“I thought you we killed you!” piped Powerful Penguin.

“There is a difference between thinking something and knowing something,” laughed Ferdinand.

“But we left your body bloodied and broken!” Powerful Penguin said in disbelief that her once deceased foe was exactly that: once deceased.

“Which is why I ate my flesh,” responded Ferdinand. “I could not move after our fight, yet I lived on. I could not move to get food, so I began to eat my flesh. I needed it to survive and then I began to savor the taste. My entire being now longs for flesh, and I’m afraid it has become more than a desire; it has become a necessity. For you see my body no devours itself and in order to keep my being from destroying itself entirely I must feast upon the flesh of others. Prepare to become a part of me!”

Ferdinand the Flesh-Eater then lunged towards Powerful Penguin. With the lunge Ferdinand came out of the darkness and exposed himself, and he was a sight to behold. Compared to the time before his fight with The Truculent Trio, where anyone could easily mistake him as a Gorgeousian, he was hideous. His skin was a mass of purple and was filled with lumps. He had so much skin that some of it dragged on the floor behind him. It looked as though his epidermis was boiling and it seemed to fade away, yet as it faded away more skin replaced it from the lumpy mass on the floor as the mass lurched and shook.

Ferdinand’s face was horrendous. He had a gaping hole in the center of his face with razor sharp teeth inside it. Along the edge of this hole there were five tentacles used to grasp his victims with. His eyes were located above the hole and were black with red pupils.

Ferdinand’s hands and feet would have been normal for any human except that instead of fingernails and toenails he had mouths. A tongue stuck out of each one searching for flesh to eat. Ferdinand struck fear into the Gorgeousians.

Powerful Penguin jumped and evaded Ferdinand’s strike, but a tentacle reached out and grasped her flipper. Deadly Dolphin did a dive and slashed at the tentacle with her tail. Ferdinand retracted the tentacle.

“Truculent Trio: Alpha formation,” Powerful Penguin called.

Powerful Penguin took her ground in front of Ferdinand with Killer Kangaroo to her right and Deadly Dolphin to her left. The trio did look fierce.

Deadly Dolphin ascended into the air with a flip of her tail and rose above the Ugligorian. Killer Kangaroo took a hop and landed to the right of Ferdinand while Powerful Penguin slid on her belly right towards the center of the flesh-eater.

Ferdinand’s tentacles shot out. One grasped Deadly Dolphin’s tail and slammed her into the ground. She let out a groan as her skull cracked as it hit the solid floor. Two went for Powerful Penguin, grabbing her flippers. They then began to pull Powerful Penguin apart and she squealed in pain. A fourth tentacle grasped Killer Kangaroo’s leg and dangled her in the air like a yo-yo.

Glittering Grizzly let out a roar and charged Ferdinand the Flesh-Eater. The final tentacle raced straight toward his heart and hit him hard. The tentacle then began to rip his flesh open. Glittering Grizzly roared in pain and agony as he felt his flesh rip off his body.

“This isn’t happening,” muttered Breathtaking Bunny.

“No way,” whispered Frolicking Fawn.

“Do something then!” yelled Pretty Princess Man unsheathing Purity, but Kindhearted Kitty was already on the move.

“Meow!” cried Kindhearted Kitty. He jumped at Ferdinand. Ferdinand reached out his arm and grabbed Kindhearted Kitty right out of the air. His fingernail mouths began licking Kindhearted Kitty and then chomped away. Kindhearted Kitty meowed again and then revealed his claws. He dug the claws deep into the putrid flesh of Ferdinand.

Ferdinand made a horrific noise that would make and infant’s ears bleed. Kindhearted Kitty took advantage of this and walked up Ferdinand’s arm to his face digging his claws into Ferdinand’s body all the way. Ferdinand continued with a chorus of ear-revolting sounds.

When Kindhearted Kitty reached the face of a creature spat out of Hell he slashed each of the five tentacles freeing The Truculent Trio and Glittering Grizzly. He then gouged out the eyes of Ferdinand the Flesh-Eater and sliced his body in half with his claws. Kindhearted Kitty jumped off the despicable creature, landed on his feet, and let out a loud, resounding, victorious, “MEOW!!!”

The day had been won, but at no small cost. Glittering Grizzly and Deadly Dolphin were severely injured, and Powerful Penguin and Killer Kangaroo were missing parts of their flesh. Despite all of this, Pretty Princess Man knew that they must press on. He went to the altar of the Flesh Shrine and found the inscription:

“We are creatures of flesh and blood,

Evil because of the fall.

We were almost wiped out with the flood,

So now I will finish the job and perfect us all.”

Underneath it read: “1 of 5.”

“These verses care me,” said Pretty Princess Man. “What do they mean and what are they leading up to?”

Little Pumpkin came to his side, slipped her hand into his, and said, “We do not know Pretty Princess Man. We need to trust that everything has a purpose.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

There, on the floor of the Flesh Shrine, the Gorgeousians layed their heads to rest, pondering the mysteries of the universe. Two of the five Sacred Verses had been determined and memorized. These Sacred Verses seemed to resonate with evil making them wonder if their quest was indeed for the forces of light. Could light win this war? Did Gorgeous have a chance?

* * *

That concludes the story of Pretty Princess Man and Bonnie the Blue Bumblebee for this week. Tune in next week to find out what our heroes will do to save and protect the land of Gorgeous.